((NO I AM NOT QUITTING EXACTLY. I am just going to be posting less often and here is why))
So for the past few months, I have been trying my best to get my life under control one baby step at a time, by first setting small goals for myself and rewarding myself every time I completed a particular goal. It really has been a good decision, and over the course of the past four months, I learned the most valuable lesson this year: how to prioritize.
It seems like such a simple thing to do, doesn’t it? I mean, how hard can it be to know what is more important? The basics are easiest: obviously, family and friends and loved ones come first, and then comes your grades (especially if you are South East Asian…my fellow Asians will understand the struggles I am referring to), and then comes you and all the things that give you joy.
But sometimes, it can be hard to remember what is most precious to you when you are caught up in multiple personal projects that are very, very dear to you. Take my October Resolutions post for example. One of my resolutions for this month was to post four times a week, because this book blog is important enough to me that I wanted my blog to get more views and comments. I wanted to increase my stats, because I thought that was important to me. But it’s not. It’s not something that I enjoy, something that I love doing, but it’s not important.
Somewhere in the midst of the excitement of receiving feedback and interacting with so many people in the community, my hobby turned into a goal that I had to accomplish. I love my blog because I love voicing my thoughts here, because it is an extension of myself, but becoming a “big blogger” was never something that I aspired to be or even wanted to be when I first created Bookish Freaks. And this month, I have been thinking a lot about what I do want and do not want, and I realized that while I do not exactly want to quit blogging anytime soon, it’s not something that I want to take too seriously nor do I have any obligation to take it seriously just because I am blogger. This blog, and everything that I write here, is something that I do for myself. For the release and peace that always comes after I have put my thought into words and let them out.
What I do want is to be a published, best-selling author someday. One day, I want to write stories that will move people’s hearts and make them feel less alone in this world.
What I do want is to finish my undergrad with at least 3.5 CGPA so my parents can be proud of me and so I can prove to myself that I am more than what I believe myself to be.
What I do want is to have a successful career with a hefty paycheck so I can take care of my parents, do the charities I want to, and create a better future for my unborn children.
Once I realized…or should I say, remembered…my priorities, it was easy to understand what I needed to do and what could wait. I need to finish my first draft as soon as possible. I can wait to post on this blog until I have something incredibly important to share.
I guess what this means for you, my dearest readers, is that you’ll be seeing even less of me in the future. I am not quitting exactly, I’ll just post when I feel like I have something to say. And I think that’s what is best for me right now. Book blogging requires a nightmarish amount of time, effort and energy that I would rather invest elsewhere.